Overwhelmed

Wow, this has been a killer week, and I don't think I'm even overburdened, by "normal" professorial/grad student standards! I've been working frantically to produce results for a last-minute paper my advisor and I decided to submit, trying to keep up in my classes, managing the grad school application process, and watching the pile of student assignments I have yet to grade grow frighteningly. That said, I'm not on any committees, I don't have children or a husband, I have no major presentations or talks to give. This growing up experience is amazing: Every time I think I couldn't possibly stuff another responsibility into my day, I find a way to juggle more.

I keep wondering where the cracks are: just where is it that I'm fitting more time? I am impressed by all of the bloggers who manage full lives with intense work responsibilities and external commitments, and still find time to write. As for myself, I'm composing this while I let an experiment run, just to clear my head before the next experiment. I've come up with lots of interesting post ideas, but haven't had time to actually compose any of them.

I marvel at my professors' energy and stamina. Perhaps when I grow up (i.e., get my ass kicked in a PhD program, learn to sleep less, need it enough) I'll be able to accomplish as many things as they do. I don't think I have downtime now, but I suppose that's like not knowing you have the physical strength to lift something until your dog is trapped under it. I just hope the process of getting there isn't too painful: I don't mind working hard, but I'd like not to run myself into the ground while doing it. Hopefully sometime soon, I'll have the opportunity to post further about what it means to work hard and whether making yourself physically ill is really a good standard for "hard enough."